NOv8 Apple - I'm bored with Apple. A few things that interest me.
1. Solar Strips. Use them, implement them, incorporate them, utilize them I don't care just do it. Wrap the sides, wrap the back and do that little carbon fiber weave thing if you want just make it happen. Put some on the front under the bezel if you have to I don't care. Make it happen, make it work. People are tired of their phones dying in 10 hours, give them 963 hours while getting their tan on. It will work. I'm not asking again. People take their phones out and set them on tables while eating. This irritates me for some reason but now, when someone's Bieb's ringtone goes off, at least I'll think to myself, that dude is saving a few trees over there by solar charging his sh*t and I'll give him a thumbs up.
*** Johnny Ives will make it look good.
2. We need Apple in space; Now! Don't argue with me, just do it (swoosh). I will give you until the 2nd quarter of 2015. Join up with Space X, NASA, that Richard Branson guy I don't care, make it happen. We need Apple on the moon. I want a guy in an Apple spacesuit to make a call to his kid from the moon. Yes, it will happen. He can tell his boy he loves him from the moon on his crystal clear iPhone 7x. Why 7x? Because x behind anything is cool and 7 is a lucky number. The iPhone 7x better kick a** Apple I'm serious. Build a little cell phone tower into the phone if you have to I don't care, just make it work. Oh, and Red Bull needs to be involved some way, somehow. He** get that Travis Pastrana guy he loves stuff like this. Get him shirtless so he's comfortable, have him juggle a few iPhone 7's with his curly a** hair sticking out of his space helmet, and make the call. When he's done, have him strap a retro rocket on his back and blast off back to earth. I could watch all of this on my iPhone 7x, space edition dam*it.
***Johnny Ives will make it sound good.
3. Corning. Mean anything to anyone? Probably not. They make glass, kick a** glass for phones and other crap. Best of all, made in the USA. Apple, I want a glass phone. Have Corning send you glass casing's for your phones. They'll be transparent for christ sakes! I want to see parts and sh*t in there too making connections, literally. You tell Corning to make it unbreakable too. If they say they can't do it, they're lying. It's 2013, we have unbreakable glass. If they make you a glass phone and give it to you throw it on the ground (Lonely Island ref.). If it breaks, you slap that man and slap him hard. Corning I'm looking at you. He** put a little projector on the back for conferences or he** even a little HUD capable unit I don't care, I just want glass on front and back for at least one generation dam*it. If you can give me stainless steel that scratches when I give it the "stank eye", you can make one with glass. If I have to explain the marketing awesomeness of a glass phone, I'm not. Get Corning on board, make it happen. I want to see "Designed, Manufactured, and Assembled by Apple in the USA" on the back of my iwhatever pretty soon. Make it happen.
*** Johnny Ives will make it look good.
Apple Job's was your shining star. He's gone now and will be for a long time. Take it up a notch or two and show us some good sh*t again!
and remember....
Innovate, Inspire, Breathe, Live
JK
1. Solar Strips. Use them, implement them, incorporate them, utilize them I don't care just do it. Wrap the sides, wrap the back and do that little carbon fiber weave thing if you want just make it happen. Put some on the front under the bezel if you have to I don't care. Make it happen, make it work. People are tired of their phones dying in 10 hours, give them 963 hours while getting their tan on. It will work. I'm not asking again. People take their phones out and set them on tables while eating. This irritates me for some reason but now, when someone's Bieb's ringtone goes off, at least I'll think to myself, that dude is saving a few trees over there by solar charging his sh*t and I'll give him a thumbs up.
*** Johnny Ives will make it look good.
2. We need Apple in space; Now! Don't argue with me, just do it (swoosh). I will give you until the 2nd quarter of 2015. Join up with Space X, NASA, that Richard Branson guy I don't care, make it happen. We need Apple on the moon. I want a guy in an Apple spacesuit to make a call to his kid from the moon. Yes, it will happen. He can tell his boy he loves him from the moon on his crystal clear iPhone 7x. Why 7x? Because x behind anything is cool and 7 is a lucky number. The iPhone 7x better kick a** Apple I'm serious. Build a little cell phone tower into the phone if you have to I don't care, just make it work. Oh, and Red Bull needs to be involved some way, somehow. He** get that Travis Pastrana guy he loves stuff like this. Get him shirtless so he's comfortable, have him juggle a few iPhone 7's with his curly a** hair sticking out of his space helmet, and make the call. When he's done, have him strap a retro rocket on his back and blast off back to earth. I could watch all of this on my iPhone 7x, space edition dam*it.
***Johnny Ives will make it sound good.
3. Corning. Mean anything to anyone? Probably not. They make glass, kick a** glass for phones and other crap. Best of all, made in the USA. Apple, I want a glass phone. Have Corning send you glass casing's for your phones. They'll be transparent for christ sakes! I want to see parts and sh*t in there too making connections, literally. You tell Corning to make it unbreakable too. If they say they can't do it, they're lying. It's 2013, we have unbreakable glass. If they make you a glass phone and give it to you throw it on the ground (Lonely Island ref.). If it breaks, you slap that man and slap him hard. Corning I'm looking at you. He** put a little projector on the back for conferences or he** even a little HUD capable unit I don't care, I just want glass on front and back for at least one generation dam*it. If you can give me stainless steel that scratches when I give it the "stank eye", you can make one with glass. If I have to explain the marketing awesomeness of a glass phone, I'm not. Get Corning on board, make it happen. I want to see "Designed, Manufactured, and Assembled by Apple in the USA" on the back of my iwhatever pretty soon. Make it happen.
*** Johnny Ives will make it look good.
Apple Job's was your shining star. He's gone now and will be for a long time. Take it up a notch or two and show us some good sh*t again!
and remember....
Innovate, Inspire, Breathe, Live
JK
