Getting divorced, could use some iPhone account transfer advice

fancy_fil · May 20, 2011

Hello, fellow iPhone fans. I have a 3G, and my soon-to-be ex-husband made himself the sole account holder for both of our phones. I am leaving him soon, but want to keep my phone (yep, the iPhone is much more warm and cuddly than him). I went to two AT&T Stores, and they said they could tell me NOTHING about the account, not even the balance due. And even though my own name and my own phone number are there when I log in to the AT&T website, there isn't anything I can do without it immediately sending him an email to his private email address telling him of the change. And, apparently, he has to call them to add me as a user. It would be a red flag if I told him I wanted to be an authorized user, because obviously he'd wonder how I found that out. (I was suprised I wasn't an authorized user, because when we went in and bought the iPhones and set up the account, I assumed I was... either I misunderstood, or he later removed my rights).

So, the question is, when I leave him, I will have my phone with me. But then what? I'm not opposed to going to Verizon or changing my number, etc., but I do want to be able to retain all of my apps, my iTunes (thousands of songs!), etc.

And, is the phone itself really mine? If I take it to the Verizon store, or another AT&T store, will they ask me for proof of ownership?

Also, I don't want him to be able to retain my phone number because he could just get another phone, apply my number to it, and maybe do nefarious things (texts) posing as "me".

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Fil

TheBigGiantHead · May 20, 2011

First off, no one wants to hear about ur dirty laundry and this post doesnt paint you in the best of light, you come off as very shady so in the future keep this kinda stuff to yourself, this is a tech forum for iphones.

Secondly, if he added you to his account or if the account was opened in his name only then your answer is no, there is nothing you can do. The fact that thats what they told you at ATT should have been your answer in the first place. Theres no tricks or work around, in ATT's system your husband holds the account rights, you literally have zero control to do anything behind his back.

Gregoris · May 20, 2011

fancy_fil said:
Hello, fellow iPhone fans. I have a 3G, and my soon-to-be ex-husband made himself the sole account holder for both of our phones. I am leaving him soon, but want to keep my phone (yep, the iPhone is much more warm and cuddly than him). I went to two AT&T Stores, and they said they could tell me NOTHING about the account, not even the balance due. And even though my own name and my own phone number are there when I log in to the AT&T website, there isn't anything I can do without it immediately sending him an email to his private email address telling him of the change. And, apparently, he has to call them to add me as a user. It would be a red flag if I told him I wanted to be an authorized user, because obviously he'd wonder how I found that out. (I was suprised I wasn't an authorized user, because when we went in and bought the iPhones and set up the account, I assumed I was... either I misunderstood, or he later removed my rights).

So, the question is, when I leave him, I will have my phone with me. But then what? I'm not opposed to going to Verizon or changing my number, etc., but I do want to be able to retain all of my apps, my iTunes (thousands of songs!), etc.

And, is the phone itself really mine? If I take it to the Verizon store, or another AT&T store, will they ask me for proof of ownership?

Also, I don't want him to be able to retain my phone number because he could just get another phone, apply my number to it, and maybe do nefarious things (texts) posing as "me".

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Fil

i think your best bet is just move your contacts and either get another sim from AT&T thats 100% yours so no one can tell you what to do or how to use the account or as you said move to verizon so then he has no control over what you do and then wont even have your number..

it sounds like to me what ever you do since your not even authorised you are pretty much stuck and wont be able to do anything with out him knowing

fancy_fil · May 20, 2011

That's understandable. I didn't mean to offend. I was just wondering if anyone knew about this kind of thing. I'm the only one who works and earns a living in this marriage, and I pay all the bills, so naturally, I would like to come out of this as unscathed as possible.

Best,
Fil

Gregoris · May 20, 2011

so you pay the att bill? how is it that he has control over the account and not you or both of you?

fancy_fil · May 20, 2011

I don't know. But since we are married, the money comes out of our joint account. I earn it, but it's both of ours (as any 'community property' would be).

Gregoris · May 20, 2011

what about taking him off the bank joint account and then stopping payment to his cell phone? would that work? or open another account and move all your cash to your own account one he has access to and stop paying the bill

fancy_fil · May 20, 2011

Yeah, I could do that. But I really am trying to be nice (in spite of what BigGiantHead said, I'm really not shady by nature; I'm feeling forced into this). I wouldn't want to deprive him of anything. But he's the violent type, which is why I'm trying to do a few things in secret before I make the announcement. Anyway, sounds like I have no options but to start over again with a new number, and a different phone or/and new sim card. Oh, well. Thanks for the advice.

Gregoris · May 20, 2011

fancy_fil said:
Yeah, I could do that. But I really am trying to be nice (in spite of what BigGiantHead said, I'm really not shady by nature; I'm feeling forced into this). I wouldn't want to deprive him of anything. But he's the violent type, which is why I'm trying to do a few things in secret before I make the announcement. Anyway, sounds like I have no options but to start over again with a new number, and a different phone or/and new sim card. Oh, well. Thanks for the advice.

its not being nasty your just protecting yourself and your privacy.

well good luck and i hope it works out well for you

bab2010 · May 20, 2011

fancy_fil said:
Yeah, I could do that. But I really am trying to be nice (in spite of what BigGiantHead said, I'm really not shady by nature; I'm feeling forced into this). I wouldn't want to deprive him of anything. But he's the violent type, which is why I'm trying to do a few things in secret before I make the announcement. Anyway, sounds like I have no options but to start over again with a new number, and a different phone or/and new sim card. Oh, well. Thanks for the advice.

Why don't you just use the easiest way? Tell him to seperate your account from his so that he have no control on your number. I know u said his violent but so far as you are the one paying, he should understand that it's your right to seperate the accounts. And or like you said, you can change the card sim with another carrier but if you don't tell him and seperate the accounts, chances are that he can report a stolen iphone and then your phone can be esn black listed. Hope things sort out better for you. Good luck.

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fancy_fil · May 20, 2011

Yes, I suppose I have nothing to lose if I just ask him to do that when I announce to him that I'm moving out. (Which I plan on doing within an hour after telling him and having friends come to help me pack). I doubt he will, but if I don't ask - well, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Fil

fancy_fil · May 20, 2011

Thanks.

bab2010 · May 20, 2011

fancy_fil said:
Yes, I suppose I have nothing to lose if I just ask him to do that when I announce to him that I'm moving out. (Which I plan on doing within an hour after telling him and having friends come to help me pack). I doubt he will, but if I don't ask - well, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Fil

That's right.

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